2 hOUrs aS SANtA

     This year I got to do something for the Christmas season that I've never done before. I got to play Santa at my family's Pre-school. The guy they regularly get had a scheduling problem, so I was asked if I could fill in. I said sure. When the day arrived I arrived and went into my Grandparents' old house to change. Apparently the person that they had borrowed the Santa costume from was a BIT shorter than me because the pants only came to about 3-4 inches below my knees. Now I realize that they were probably meant to be short so you could tuck them into the boots, but with the boots on, I would still be showing far to much leg for Santa. Luckily my Grandma had an old Santa suit with longer pants. Then came the second size issue. The boots were a full size too small. It took a huge effort to finally pull them on my feet, but even that task was finally completed and then it was just the finishing touches. At one point, my wife came in and I asked her if I needed a pillow to which she quickly said NO. (not quite sure how to respond to that) Finally the time came to go out and meet the children. I spent the next two hours sitting and visiting with the kids. It really was a fun experience. The kids would come in groups of about 4 and I would have about a minute with each. 
     There were two kids that stand out. The first was a little girl. (all the kids were 4 years old, by the way) This little girl came up and sat on my lap and I talked to her the way Santa alway talks to children. When I finally asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she kind pulled away and looked at me funny. She then said, "I've already told you like three other times." It was really hard not to bust right out laughing. I thought quickly and told her that I talk to soo many children this time of year that that is why I always check lists twice. She seemed to accept that. Of all the responces I thought I may get, THAT was NOT one of them.
     The second was a very cool experience. This time it was a little boy. Before I go into that I need to set up something. Sitting next to me were three bins(bags) with little toys labeled "boy", "girl," or "nutral." As each child was through, a helper would give a present to the child and then the child would go to a table and open the gift. This particular group came when my helper was taking a potty break. The boy came up and we exchanged pleasentries for a bit and then I asked the magic question. He told me that he really wanted a toy bow and arrow set. I told him that a toy bow and arrow is a big responsibility and that if he got one he was never to shoot it at anyone. He nodded his head and said, "Oh, I know!" I wished him Merry Christmas and reached in the bin labeled for boys and gave him his little gift. He wa the last in the group so I was able to watch him open the gift. It turned out to be a small toy bow and arrow set. He just looked at it for a second then back at me. I gave him an exagerated wink and he beamed! I think this particular boy may believe in Santa well into his thirties. It was fun to see the magic for him. All in all, it was a fun way to spend a couple of hours. I tried to be more than a standard "what do you want for Christmas" Santa, but talk about what they had asked for, or if they asked for something I knew a little bit about I could expand on it with them. My geekiness really helpped out there. When I finished I went back to the room where they had all gathered and wished them all a Merry Christmas one last time.

Then I went back in the old house and had to get those small boots actually off my feet. haha

hEaLiNg HaNDS

     Something I love doing more than pretty much anything is singing. I love music! It’s magical. Music has powers that can’t be found anywhere else. Music can bring you to the verge of tears, or the edge of rapture. I’m one of those people you see/hear as you drive around that is singing at the top of their lungs. Windows up or down. Songs from male singers or female. I love music! I’m sure that there will be more entries regarding music, but in reality, this one has almost nothing to do with music, and yet, it does. Confused?

     Back in 1998 I had started a new position at work. I had taken what would become the first of my sales routes. This one covered Arizona, New Mexico, and western Texas, as well as south eastern Utah. I had been doing it for a few months. I liked it well enough. I was gone for 10-11 days at a time. This was before I was married and I really loved being out driving around. (I guess some things just never change) Anyway, I started having odd pains in my chest and abdomen. At first I chalked it up to my new lifestyle of sitting for long periods of time and greasy foods, but as time went on it got worse and worse.  Eventually I went to the doctor to find out what was going on. By now Ann and I were engaged. The doctors couldn’t seem to figure out what was going on. At first the thought it was probably my gal bladder, though that was quickly ruled out. Then strange growths we seen on my lungs.  I was terrified that it might be cancer, but after a couple of weeks the growths had doubled in size. The doctor told me that that was actually good news. WHAT? He said that it was growing far to fast to be cancer. That was good news. So what is it? Well, that part they still didn’t know. Test after test were run and everything came back negative. Meanwhile I was feeling worse and worse. I’d gone in for a biopsy on one lung and still nothing. Eventually it was determined that the doctors were going to have to go in and actually cut a piece or two of whatever it was off my lungs and have a better look. The day came and I went under the knife. They had to deflate my left lung to do what they needed. When the surgery was completed I was in the ICU for a day or two. I remember being told that my friend Justin had called or come to visit, but because I was in the ICU I didn’t get to see or talk to him. I was eventually moved to a regular room where I spent a little over a week. Ann and my family would come to visit. Crazy thing was that the doctors still didn’t know what the heck was growing in there. I actually started planning my funeral at one point. Morbid I know, but what else was I going to do all day in the hospital bed?

     I was finally release to go home, but my lung capacity was still not good so I was hooked up to oxygen. (My friends told me later that they thought they would be attending my funeral as well.) Then all of a sudden the things started shrinking in size! What the heck?! The main doctor told me that he was pretty sure it was Coccidioidomycosis, though tests were still coming up negative. (by the way, they never did figure out what it was. How crazy is that?) I was on oxygen for a little over a month. I had exercises to strengthen my lungs and I did them. I couldn’t sing. I couldn’t hold a note because I didn’t have the lung capacity. I was getting better though. Then one day I was driving up the street and I had a CD playing (of course) and a song began playing. This song was already a favorite of mine, but it was about to jump even higher on the list. I tentatively started singing and I wasn’t running out of breath. I was doing it. I was singing again! I raised my voice even louder as the song progressed. When the song finished, I had sung every word. I actually had to pull over I was so excited. It was the moment where I knew I was going to be fine. I could sing. My lungs were strong. To this day, “Healing Hands” by Elton John will cheer me up better than almost any song. See, totally not about music, and yet totally about music.

i kNow TherE's a JOKe in thErE SomewheRE

     I have decided that going on the road in November is something I may try to avoid as much as possible in the future.

     I wrote a little while ago about what happened to me last year right before Thanksgiving, well though not as bad in most ways, I had another crappy November business trip.

     This year I was doing my new truck stop route for work which I started back in January. It’s a big route that takes me across northern Nevada, down to central California, up through Oregon to Tacoma, Wa. then over to Spokane, Wa., down to Boise, Idado and then across I-84 to home. It takes me two weeks to complete. I love being out, but I really hate being away. (If you think those are the same things, you’re sorely mistaken.) 

     I had a new location to set up this trip and wanted to make sure I had plenty of time, so I’d done a couple of late nights and early mornings. I was running about 1 stop ahead of schedule. That may not seem like much, but moving one location up early in the trip can actually shave off a whole day by the end of the trip.  I was feeling very good and enjoying my favorite things to listen to while driving. Podcasts. (See my last post) I was just entering Oregon at about mile marker 6 when I felt a jolt and the car just stopped working. Some things worked, some didn’t. Luckily my brakes were among the working because I was coming down a pretty big hill. Really I had just come over a small mountain pass so the roads were not only steep, but curvey as well. The POWER part of my breaks was gone, but I was still able to stop without incident. (phew) I got out of the car and began to look it over. Everything seemed in place to my EXTREMELY untrained eye. I got back in and tried to start it up again, but all I got was a sound I had never heard before and it wouldn’t even turn over. To make matters worse, it was starting to snow. (wonderful)  I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to call a tow truck just yet. I guess I was hoping that some Good Samaritan would stop and be able to say, “Oh just do this.” and get my car going again. I have to say that I got pretty peeved when not one, but TWO police drove right by me without even slowing down. (Must have been in a hurry to set up a speed trap or something.) I really didn’t even know which town I was closest to so I could start looking for a tow truck. Finally a Hwy Patrol stopped, but all she could do was tell me that Ashland, OR was 6 miles away. I found a towing company with my phone (ahh technology) and finally got towed into town. Once there the mechanic did some checking and told me that he was almost positive what had happened. Apparently my timing belt had slipped (or whatever it is that they do which is bad) and that most likely caused even more damage. He said that to just do what he needed to do to make sure would cost $2000 just in labor cost and then parts would be even more. I guess that at this point I should mention that we had just paid off this car ONE WEEK before and I’d put new back tires on it just 5 days earlier. It turns out that the car isn’t even worth $2000, although it was worth far more to me. You see, this was the very first car in my life that I had paid off completely.  All the other ones had been traded in (or totaled last November) before being paid off. After weighing all the options (of which there really weren’t a lot) I started making calls to try and sell my newly paid off car. I found a company who offered me a good price so, just like that, I had a buyer.

   Of course now I still had the problem of being in the middle of my route with no car. I looked into renting one, but a one way rental would have cost more than I just got for the car. My company then said they would use air points to fly me home and then I could get a car and drive back. (That was very nice of them.) So Saturday morning (Nov 5) I flew home and spent the rest of the day with my family which was a nice break. I then borrowed my mother-in-law’s car (she doesn’t drive so it was readily available) and on Sunday I drove the 18 hours back to where I was. Monday morning we finalized the deal on my old car and I was off. Leaving the old car behind was pretty emotional because that car is more my office than my space at our home office. I’ve driven that car to and through 11 western states and it’s always been good to me. I know its quirks and such. It was almost like a friend. In less than a year, BOTH of our cars were gone while I was using them on road trips.

   Anyway, now instead of being ahead of the game I was 2 days behind schedule. No way to really make it up, but there’s a part of me that says, “We can do this. Drive and work fast and we’ll make up the time.” (totally NOT possible by the way)  Well, I got to my first store and took care of things there and headed out. Things could only get better now, right?

I wasn’t 30 miles away when I got the flat.

Friends I've Never Met

     I think the internet is a wonderful thing. It’s made the world a much smaller place. It’s made it possible to make friends you never would have otherwise.  Let me give you a couple of examples. Once, while in the hotel in one of my many visits to Las Vegas, I was surfing for geeky related things and I found something called micro heroes.  These were small gif files of superheroes with heads too large for their bodies.  I was enthralled. These things seemed easy enough for me to make and there were entire web sights dedicated to these little guys. I’m a very visual person. I love looking and things and designing things and Micro Heroes gave me an outlet for both. I started making my own and “collecting” (a real habit of mine) ones that others had made.  It was then that I discovered that there was a group of people, a club if you will, who shared their creations with each other. I signed up for my first internet “group.” I would receive emails from Robert, Kat, Matthew, and a whole slew of others who were just as geeky as me and who just wanted to show off their latest Micro. We talked to each other through these emails and told each other how cool their latest work was. It was nice to have “friends” who were interested in similar things. On one trip to Phoenix I actually got together with Robert for lunch. I remember a coworker marveling that I would just go to lunch with a complete stranger. I told him that it wasn’t really a complete stranger. After all, we’ve shared Micro Heroes and we both liked comics. He still had trouble grasping.

     Anyway, that was my first foray into an online community of any kind, but it wouldn’t be my last. Set the time machine forward a few years and my wife bought me an MP3 player for Father’s day or our Anniversary (I forget which it was) and within a few weeks I had discovered these things called podcasts. I could find programs on the internet that talked about comic books??? That was crazy! I remember the first one I downloaded was a podcast called Raging Bullets. All DC comics! I was hooked. The hosts would talk about DC Comics, but the also talked about being part of the Comic Geek Speak (CGS) forums.  I had never joined any kind of online forums before and wasn’t sure what to expect. I started listening to CGS as well and they often spoke about their forum members like they were friends. I took the plunge and joined. I was very much a “lurker” for the first little bit.  The first thing I noticed was that a lot of the people there all had odd names. There were people like Peter, Bryan, Paul,and Shane, but there was also Dr Norge, Rainbow Cloak, and Filthy McMonkey and many, many others. I’ve done my share of chatting via AOL and Messenger so I was familiar with screen names. I picked the one I always use and finally started interacting. I started becoming familiar with the personalities behind the names. Little by little and bit by bit, these strangers became acquaintances and then friends. We discussed not only comics, but politics, family triumphs and tragedies, or the latest movie or TV show. We even have a yearly “Secret Santa” which is just a fantasticly fun thing every Christmas season.  We feel so much like friends and family that I felt and feel like I would be totally at home meeting them in real life. I actually would like nothing better than to meet Sean, Darren, or Scott. (Norge, Cloak, and McMonkey)  These are people from all over the globe and from many different walks of life. People I know I never would have met otherwise. And the internet brought us together.  One in particular has become one of my very best friends in the world. And we have never met.

Lesson from a river

     I'm usually not one of those people who see lessons in daily things. I've heard people say things like, "as I saw that tree growing the way it was and it reminded me of..." or "as the clouds rolled in over the hills I was reminded that..." and it seems great that they can see such profound lessons in such everyday things. Me, I usually see a tree or clouds. However, there was one time that a lesson was taught to me in such a way.
     I was in Colorado on business. (that seems to happen a lot in these stories) My friend Russ was with me on this trip as well, (I really should tell you all about this great friend and man sometime soon) which means there were more stops than normal. I had told him that if he saw something that he wanted to take pictures of to please let me know and I'd stop for a few minutes. It was mid to late April so as we drove down roads and through canyons there were plenty of photo ops to be had. There was still snow on the ground and it even snowed while we were driving through one of the many canyons we drove through. It was during one such stop that I had this lesson taught to me. We had pulled off the road so Russ could take a new set of photos. As he went around taking his pictures, I stood and looked at the river below us. I've mentioned before how much I love rivers. Yet as I looked at this particular river my thoughts didn't turn to their normal reminiscing.
     I noticed that there seemed to be two different rivers converging into one. The water from one river was green clean and the water from the other was brown and muddy. The green water was calmer looked easy to stand in, while the brown water was a lot swifter and seemed like it would be easy to slip and fall. It was odd, but you could actually see a division between the two rivers even after they had joined together. However, it didn't take long until the green water was gone. When the clean and muddy waters combined the waters didn't become all clean. Quite the opposite happened. In the space of not many yards the new "combined" river was entirely muddy. There was no trace left of the beautiful green water, only the muddy waters. I remember wondering why the clean water didn't wash out the mud and make the whole river clean. The answer came to my mind, "Because it's just easier to let the the mud flow into it than it is to try and filter out the mud."  I realized that they only real way that the green river could have stayed "unmuddied" is to stay separate.
     In life, it's not always easy to "remain separate." I know in my life (and I'm sure in yours as well) there have been times that I figured I could get close to the muddy water without letting the mud make me dirty as well. Remember, there was a spot where both rivers flowed side by side. However, it also didn't take long until there was only one river. One muddy river. I've tried to remember that over the years. There have been time where I was more successful than others, but I have also had times where I decided that it would be better to not even risk the mud. See, I told you I loved rivers.

There would be no party that day.

On this, the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I just wanted to jot down a few memories. I had gotten up as always and was getting ready for work. We had the TV on the local news as we always did in the morning. We were getting ready to celebrate the 1st Birthday of our first born, Parker. But, there would be no party that day. We watched, along with the world, as the stories in New York, Virginia, and Pennsylvania unfolded. We watched the second plane crash. We watched the smoke rise. We watched and report and report came in. I thought of my Mom who was in New York state and scheduled to fly home a day or two later. Eventually I pulled myself away from the TV. Life had to go on I figured. I had to go to work. There was nothing I could do from where I was. I drove to work with the radio on the news and when I arrived I saw a small group of co-workers doing something strange. As I pulled up I noticed that someone had brought a small black and white TV outside because we could get no reception inside. There we stood. A group of 5-6 people. All huddled around a small black and white TV. United in grief and shock and growing anger. At one point the lady next to me let out a small sniff and intake of breath and without really thinking about it I reached my arm around her to give whatever degree of comfort I could. The rest of the day has always been a blurr for me. I remember talking with different people in the office about what had happened and what was still happening.  I remember the different reactions from all the different people. The only other thing I remember doing for sure was sitting down later that night and writing a letter to my son. I wanted him to understand what had happened that day, and the feelings associated with it. I remember telling him that, no matter what he would hear in the years to come, he should never hate those involved. Rather, to focus on the heroism and outpouring of love and unity that was sweeping across our great nation.
     In the years since then we've always tried to emphasize that it's Parker's birthday on September 11th. That even though a terrible thing may have happened on that day in 2001, that an incredibly good thing had happened on that day in 2000. Our family started. Make no mistake in what I'm writing. I feel for those who lost friends and loved ones on that day in 2001. I know it was a terrible tragedy. I feel a swelling of grief and also patriotism each year when 9/11 rolls around, but even more so I feel grateful that on that day I became a Dad and my wife became a Mom. I honor those innocent victims and brave workers who lost their lives on that awful day, but for me, "never forget" has TWO meanings when I think of September 11th. There may have been no party day, but there have been in the years since.

Lucky Me

     It was Nov 22nd of last year. I had left on another trip as I do. I was going to be going to many Maverik (gas station) locations across Wyoming. I was going to cover a lot of territory in just 2 LONG days. Each stop would likely be about 5 minutes so there would be tons of driving, but then I'd have the rest of the week off for Thanksgiving.  Well, at least, that WAS the plan.
     I had finished the location in Thayne, WY and was heading to Lander. I had driven through Jackson Hole and was on a state hwy and it was snowing on and off and had been all day. I've driven in adverse conditions many times before and knew there is a reason they're called "adverse." As I drove along the road the snow was starting to pick up. Then it happened!
     I hit a patch of ice on the road and the SUV started to swerve. I tried to correct, but to no avail. I crossed into the oncoming traffic lane (luckily there was no one in that lane) and headed rapidly for the shoulder. I had no control of the car and knew I was in trouble. The next thought that went through my head was, "this is how I'm going to die." I knew I was going to roll. Then I remember actually almost hearing a voice saying, "relax." I did. I closed my eyes and prepared for the worst. I really did plan on NOT opening them again in this world. I felt the SUV start to roll. It rolled at least twice and I think it may have rolled a third time, but I'm not sure. I kinda lost count. During the roll my foot moved back on to the gas pedal without me realizing it, so when I finally stopped rolling the car went even further into the reeds. My first thought was "move your foot" and then "I'm not dead." I opened my eyes and looked around. The contents of the SUV were strewn around and one window was gone. (Another lucky thing was that I usually take my little Honda Civic, but my wife had said, "why don't you take the Trailblazer. It'll be safer and I won't need it.)I reached up and felt the top of my head and brought my hand down to the sight of blood. Luckily for me, there had been another car about 1/4 mile behind me that had seen me roll because the state trooper told me later than as far as I had stopped off the road (about 150 ft) and so far into the trees and such that it would have been unlikely that anyone would have seen me. Anyway, the guy behind me stopped to see how I was. He told me a little later that he was expecting to find me dead too. (guess it really was my lucky day) I wanted to call my wife and tell her what had happened, but my cell phone had apparently become one with the Wyoming snow at some point during one of the rolls, so the kind gentleman allowed me to use his. Ann wasn't home, so I left a very brief message. I was really starting to get cold now. The winds had kicked up and the snow was really blowing. My wife always keeps blankets in the car for any need, and I had also taken an extra one with me as well as a mummy sleeping bag, for some reason. (It's something I don't usually do. Again, lucky I guess.)  The man got a couple of blankets for me. Each blanket has a name of a member of our family embroidered on it, so I took even more comfort feeling like I was being kept warm by my family.  When the police arrived they told me to just stay put. They didn't want to risk moving me just in case, so we needed to wait for the ambulance to arrive from Jackson Hole which was about 30-40 minutes away in GOOD weather. By the time the ambulance arrived it was dark. I felt bad as the rescuers loaded me on the back board and then hauled my overweight butt all the way back to the waiting ambulance. We then headed back toward Jackson. An hour later we arrived. In the mean time, I had finally gotten in touch with Ann, and she and her brother were on their way to Jackson as well. (5 hrs away in good weather)
     In the hospital I was checked out, x-rayed, and cleaned up. I reached up at one point and said I could feel glass in my head. The nurse told me not to touch it so I didn't accidentally make it worse. I was told that I had a concussion and other cuts, and I was sore as well.  Here's where things started getting a bit surreal. I was told after a while that I was free to go. Now keep in mind that my car was still 30-40 miles away filling with the blowing snow. I thought the nurses and workers would keep me there until Ann arrived to drive me home.  Especially because I was the ONLY case in the ER. However, I was told that there was a motel that workers use when they get snowed in that was about 1/3 mile away and that I could stay there. By now the wind was really blowing and the snow was in full blizzard mode and working on becoming a full blown white out. Surely one of these workers would drive me to said motel, right? NOPE. No taxis in that weather either.  I told them that I could still feel glass in my head again and this time I was told, "Oh, that will come out in the shower." WHAT?! Anyway, I was turned out into that cold Wyoming blizzard with nothing more than my jacket and the blanket I had asked them to grab when they took me out of the car. I was told to walk down the road and the motel was on the right about 1/3 mile down.  I grabbed my travel bag which I had also asked them to grab and out I went. After I had walked for a while I still couldn't see the motel that was supposedly there. Finally I noticed it on the LEFT side of the road. If they hadn't had Christmas lights already up, I may not have realized what I was looking for. I got a room and decided to shower so I could get the glass out. Crazy. The hospital said they would tell Ann and her brother where I was when they got there. I got out of the shower and turned the heat in the room way up. I was quite cold. I climbed in bed and started watching the Chargers play on Monday Night Football. (Lucky my favorite team was playing) After a couple of hours, the phone in the room rang and it was Ann calling to tell me that they couldn't get any further than Soda Springs, ID. Still hours away. They were going to get a room and start again in the morning. With nothing else to do, I stayed in bed and finally fell asleep.
     The next morning, I opened the curtain to look out the window and was greeted with the scene of a complete white out. The wind was blowing even worse than the night before and the snow had covered everything. Ann called before too long and told me that they couldn't get to me. There were roads all over Idaho and Wyoming that were being closed because of the storm. Even the Interstate was closed in places. She said how sorry they were, but there was nothing to be done. I told her to go home while she could. (I didn't want BOTH of us missing Thanksgiving). Luckily they headed back home just in time as the road out of Soda Springs was closed less than 10 minutes later.  I checked the small airport, but was told that everything was grounded and cancelled. No big surprise. I walked to the office and paid for another night and started figuring out what I was going to do. I hadn't eaten since lunch the day before and was on the far side of town with no transportation so I looked in the yellow pages for some place that delivered. I called a Chinese place and told them I wanted to place a delivery order. After a few seconds of silence I was told, "We don't want to deliver. You find somewhere else. OK?" *click*  I guess in retrospect I can't blame them, but it was just one more thing at the time. After a few hours the snow let up a bit and I tried calling a pizza place and was finally able to eat.  Still trying to find a way out of Jackson I was told that there was a shuttle bus that runs to the Salt Lake Airport from Jackson and back each day if needed. Maybe they MIGHT still be running, but the airport was going to be closed for a couple of days at least. I called and (luckily) they said that they were planning on going the nest day (Wednesday) and they had plenty of room. They said they leave from the Maverik parking lot at 6:30 in the morning and that I needed to be there by 6:15. Well, I knew where the Maverik was, of course, and it was on the complete other side of town and I still had no way to get there. In fact, I still had no idea where my car even was. I called one taxi service and was told that they already had someone to pick up the next morning, but that maybe the other taxi service might have an opening. Luckily they did. I got things arranged and then spent the rest of the day just hanging out in the little room and trying to figure out just where my car had ended up. I was finally able to track it down and (luckily) it was very close to the Maverik.
     The next morning I woke early and got ready to go. I'd been told that the car would be there at 5:50, but 5:50 came and went with no car. A little after 6 the phone rang and I was informed by the taxi driver that the cold had frozen his car and it wouldn't start. Wonderful! He said he had called someone to come get me though and sure enough, a van pulled up about 5 minutes later. (Lucky) When I got to the Maverik I asked the driver of the shuttle if we could stop where my car was. I explained the situation and he kindly said we could, but that he could only give me about 5 minutes to gather whatever I could. When we got there I hurried as fast as I could and grabbed everything I could in the allotted time. It was like being on some demented reality game show or something. By the end of the 5 minutes my hands were so cold that I couldn't feel them as the wind had picked up again and everything was covered in snow. Luckily, the drive to SLC was, for the most part, uneventful. However, while we were driving through Parley's Canyon just outside of SLC, someone cut off the driver and he had to swerve and the bus fish tailed a bit. I was NOT amused. We arrived at the airport, and after a short wait, Ann and my mom pulled up. Luckily, someone on the bus had had a cell phone they let me borrow so Ann could meet me there rather than me calling once I got there.
     All things considered I really HAD been lucky.