OpPosITes AttRACt

I'm in Albuquerque this evening and this city always makes me think of a great friend of mine, so decided to write about another “brother” of mine. When I first met this man I’m ashamed to say I pre judged him on looks alone and could not have been more wrong. I hope I may have learned something from that. As I’ve mentioned before, there are a group of us friends that have played D&D for many, many years now. A few years ago one of our group brought a new player to play. When I first met Russ he had a shaved head, earrings, rings, and I’m guessing bare feet. (I say that because I know him so much better now, that it’s a pretty safe bet) He was loud and sure of himself. I remember thinking, “Dave, what have you brought into our group.” As time went by, he became a real part of the group. My initial judgments proved to be wrong. VERY WRONG.  Yes, he was still loud and sure of himself (and at times VERY opinionated), and he still looked the same way, but I learned about the man behind all that.  We actually became pretty good friends. Then something happened…

            I ask my friends quite often if they want to go with me on my sales trips. Almost always the answer is “no.”  I totally understand that. It’s hard to get away even for the teachers in the group, but I still ask. Well, one time I asked and Russ said he would love to. I was kind of taken aback. We were friends, but I still didn’t consider him a CLOSE friend. But the offer was made and accepted so what the heck. To be honest, I don’t remember where we went, but I think it was Las Vegas. This turned out to be the first of MANY trips that Russ would accompany me on. I really got to know the man behind the shaved head, bare feet, and kilts. (oh, did I fail to mention the kilts?) We have spent probably hundreds of hours in cars and hotels talking about all things geeky and not geeky. We make up games. He introduces me to music that I NEVER would have heard if not for him. (I drive and he picks music from his massive collection) We stop so he can take pictures of everything from a field of flowers to an old barn. We debate which one of us is the bigger geek. (I win that one until his father in law’s name comes up. Oh, his father in law’s name is Bruce Wayne. How awesome is that? J ) We stop to eat at places that I would normally drive by. He has taught me to not “pass by” life. He has taught me to see the beauty in the world around me. He has taught me to not judge based on looks alone. In fact, one of the things I enjoy the most is walking into a store about 3 seconds behind him when he’s wearing a kilt. The looks he gets from locals (especially in small towns) are priceless.

            Another thing that’s interesting about us is how different we are in a lot of ways. I’ve always been a pretty conservative Republican while he’s a liberal Democrat. We talk politics and though I often feel wanting in knowledge in that field, we still have wonderful conversations where we share ideas and opinions without the fear of any anger or animosity. This has been a real blessing of sorts during this election season. If I have a question that I want a liberal view on without the propaganda I can ask. Differing views are just that. There is never any anger or bitterness between us. I’ll also admit that he’s a lot more willing to try things (especially foods) than I am. I enjoy trying new things, but I do have limits, whereas he’ll try most anything. Chocolate with jalapeños in it or hagas, it doesn’t matter. (though he has vowed to get me to try hagas)

            Another great thing is how well our families get along. His girls are much older than my kids, but they really get along almost like family. My kids get excited when they hear that we’re going to Russ and Tamby’s house or that they’re coming to our home. I’ve heard the term “brother from another mother” before and it always made me chuckle, but that really is a great way to describe him.  

FrIEnds I'Ve neVer MEt

     I think the internet is a wonderful thing. It’s made the world a much smaller place. It’s made it possible to make friends you never would have otherwise.  Let me give you a couple of examples. Once, while in the hotel in one of my many visits to Las Vegas, I was surfing for geeky related things and I found something called micro heroes.  These were small gif files of superheroes with heads too large for their bodies.  I was enthralled. These things seemed easy enough for me to make and there were entire web sights dedicated to these little guys. I’m a very visual person. I love looking and things and designing things and Micro Heroes gave me an outlet for both. I started making my own and “collecting” (a real habit of mine) ones that others had made.  It was then that I discovered that there was a group of people, a club if you will, who shared their creations with each other. I signed up for my first internet “group.” I would receive emails from Robert, Kat, Matthew, and a whole slew of others who were just as geeky as me and who just wanted to show off their latest Micro. We talked to each other through these emails and told each other how cool their latest work was. It was nice to have “friends” who were interested in similar things. On one trip to Phoenix I actually got together with Robert for lunch. I remember a coworker marveling that I would just go to lunch with a complete stranger. I told him that it wasn’t really a complete stranger. After all, we’ve shared Micro Heroes and we both liked comics. He still had trouble grasping.

     Anyway, that was my first foray into an online community of any kind, but it wouldn’t be my last. Set the time machine forward a few years and my wife bought me an MP3 player for Father’s day or our Anniversary (I forget which it was) and within a few weeks I had discovered these things called podcasts. I could find programs on the internet that talked about comic books??? That was crazy! I remember the first one I downloaded was a podcast called Raging Bullets. All DC comics! I was hooked. The hosts would talk about DC Comics, but the also talked about being part of the Comic Geek Speak (CGS) forums.  I had never joined any kind of online forums before and wasn’t sure what to expect. I started listening to CGS as well and they often spoke about their forum members like they were friends. I took the plunge and joined. I was very much a “lurker” for the first little bit.  The first thing I noticed was that a lot of the people there all had odd names. There were people like Peter, Bryan, and Shane, but there was also Dr Norge, Rainbow Cloak, and Filthy McMonkey and many, many others. I’ve done my share of chatting via AOL and Messenger so I was familiar with screen names. I picked the one I always use and finally started interacting. I started becoming familiar with the personalities behind the names. Little by little and bit by bit, these strangers became acquaintances and then friends. We discussed not only comics, but politics, family triumphs and tragedies, or the latest movie or TV show. We even have a yearly “Secret Santa” which is just a fantastic thing every Christmas season.  We feel so much like friends and family that I felt and feel like I would be totally at home meeting them in real life. I actually would like nothing better than to meet Sean, Darren, or Scott. (Norge, Cloak, and McMonkey)  These are people from all over the globe and from many different walks of life. People I know I never would have met otherwise. And the internet brought us together. 

One in particular has become one of my very best friends in the world.  Our friendship has grown beyond the forum and the computer.  We converse over the phone at least once a week and sometimes more. We’ve laughed at each other when we make idiots out ourselves, and shed a tear or two when there was no other way to express what needed to be said. He and his family live over 2000 miles from me and mine and yet because of this little thing called the internet (ok, so it’s really quite big) we’re as close as friends that live 2 miles away. I have friends in Colorado and New York as well as Canada and New Zealand. For someone who spent many years with a very small, limited group of friends, the world is now open to me in a very real way. So, to you friends out there. To Shane, Darren, Paul, Peter, Scott, Matt, Bryan, Sean, Leroy, Brad, Ken, Toni, Wayne, Caleb, Murray, Jim, Don, Chris, Frank, Sarah, Adam, Aaron, Kyle, Jamie, and all the others. To all my friends I’ve never met. Your friendship means more to me than you may ever know. Here’s to you. Here’s to friend who have or haven’t met. And, oh what the heck, here’s to micro heroes who started this whole thing off for me.  

piOnEer daY

     Today is July 24^th. Pioneer Day. A day when we Mormons take time to remember the sacrifices of those that came before us. Today we watch parades filled with floats of pioneer or western designs. We read stories of ancestors who may have been among those brave souls that gave so much. We shoot of fireworks and have picnics. We maybe even take time to go to the “This is the Place” monument. This year our family started what I hope can be a new tradition for us. We didn’t have any real activities during the day. In face, I worked most of the day. But after dinner we made some popcorn and re-watched the movie 17 Miracles. It tells the story of the Willie and Martin handcart company. They are probably the best known of all the handcart companies to cross the plains. They left far later than they should have and suffered greatly for it. It’s a very well made feature that, I admit, I can’t make it through tearless.

     One of my favorite things to learn about is church history, and I really stand in awe of what the early saints went through. I wonder how many of us today could stand up to the trials that they did. And yet, I guess that we all go through our own refiner’s fire. They had mobs and newspapers and we have protestors and the internet.  I know there have been times that I’ve thought that I would have stood up to the mobs and proudly stood by Brother Joseph or Brother Brigham. And yet, today, do I stand up as proudly with Brother Gordon or Brother Thomas? Am I as ready to stand and be counted as Latter-Day Saint as were those early saints? The threat to there lives may have been so much more than ours of course, but shouldn’t that make it even easier. There aren’t mobbers waiting to drive us from our homes into the cold of the night, but we fear the “mobbers” of our generation with even more fear than guns and ammo sometimes. I know that I’m as guilty as the next man in this. I fear what others may think sometimes more that I want to follow the leaders. I need to change that. I need to proudly stand and say who I am and what I believe. I’m from Utah. I’m a Mormon with lineage that traces back to Hyrum Smith and Willard Richards. I’m proud of both my heritage and my religion and I will try to stand as proudly today with Thomas Monson as I hope I would have with Joseph Smith. Happy Pioneer Day everyone.

SeeiNG IS alMosT Still nOT BeliEvinG

     Many years ago, while on my mission, I started a project that has blossomed into something that has lasted more than 20 years and now spans 2 generations.  It started with a trivia question in a mission hand book. The question was "Who were the original 12 apostles of this generation?" I started doing a little research in whatever books I could find. (Remember, this is 20 someodd years ago so no internet) I finally was able to get the names of all 12 men and then, as is often the case for me, I took it to the extreme.  I began creating general authoity charts for the First Presidency and Quorum of the 12 Apostles. I began with two men on the 1830 chart and then added the original 12 apostles for the 1835 chart. I searched for pictures in anything I could find. (in later years I not only DID use the internet, but also took trips down to the church archives in SLC.) Whenever the was some kind of change to EITHER quorum I would make a new chart. I began adding cross referenced information below the pictures and looking for different pictures so you could actually see the men age as time went on. You know, just what any normal person would do, right??
   Anyway, as time's gone on, I've actually put together a pretty good little binder full of charts and information. It's been carried to church and my kids, especially the boys, have really enjoyed looking through it. Lately however, Tanner (just turned 8) has REALLY gotten into looking at it and apparently not only looking, but studying it as well. The other night Ann was telling me that whenever the kids play "guess what I'm thinking" in the car, that Tanner always seems to be thinking of some little known apostle form times past. I wanted to see just how much he knew so I asked him a question that I knew the answer to off the top of my head.
   "Tanner, what apostle was ordained in 1900?"
   He looked over at me and with only the shortest pause said, "Reed Smoot."
   I was shocked that he knew that, but decided to try him again and said, "What about 1944?"
   Again the slight pause and then, "Mark E. Peterson."
   Oh, it was GAME ON now! I began throwing dates at him and every time there was a slight pause followed by the correct answer. Even Ann and Parker got in on the game. Parker tried to throw him a couple of times by asking dates where there was no change and therefore no chart.  Those times there was the customary pause and then Tanner would say that nothing happened. By this point, Parker had gone and retrieved the binder and was checking the facts with Tanner's answers.
   At one point Ann asked, "1980?"
   Pause. "No one, but in 1981 it was Neal A. Maxwell. He was ordained when Gordon B. Hinckley was set apart as another councelor in the First Presidencey."
   I tried doing thigs differently by asking him different types of questions like, "When was Amasa M. Lyman excommunicated?" or "When did Marvin J. Ashton die?" He never got it wrong. The only time he got a question "wrong" was when he mistakenly gave the answer for 1954 instead of 1854, but once we corrected him on the right centruy he nailed that one as well. This went on for a good 15 plus minutes. At one point I got my phone and began filming him without him knowing. (If he'd have known I was filming, he would have stopped) I got just ove 5 minutes of him doing this and I'm posting it below so you can see and still almost not believe it. I be willing to bet that I could stack him up against the entire rest of the ward and he would skunk them.   With his autism there are times when Tanner's a handful, but that night he proved that in some ways he's smarter than us all.

THe smEll of heALINg, PeACe aNd LAUghtEr

            “You’re wrong and you owe me an apology!”

            “You’re just hateful and I never want to speak to you ever again!”

            These were words that my sister and I spoke to each other a while ago.  A misunderstanding coupled with an angry response had escalated to very bitter feelings on both sides.  Phone calls were no longer answered, names were blocked from email lists, and pictures were taken off the walls.  Even when the truth about what had started the problem was brought to light the problem and feelings persisted.  Whenever I thought about the incident my anger boiled up in me again.  My sister told me that the negative feelings plagued her every waking hour.  I guess now I understand even more why people use that phrase.  The plagues of old would eat away and consume its victims much in the same way that the anger and bitterness was eating away at and consuming my sister and myself.  If not brought into check the plagues would eventually destroy the bodies of its victims and this spiritual plague was doing that to our spirits.  Even when the olive branch was extended, it was not accepted and in fact, was rebuffed.  I knew I was in the right!  She knew she was!  Neither looked ready to budge and the plague was running unchecked.

            A little while later, I was driving to work one morning when the car in front of me hit a skunk.  I saw the mist of stink rise into the air just as my car drove through it.  I couldn’t breath.  Now, I grew up in a small town and I had smelled skunk before, but this was different!  The smell was so intense that it stung my eyes and burned my nose.  The entire car now reeked of the smell of the dead animal.  I could only hope that I didn’t smell as bad.  I spent the rest of the day driving around the city with my windows down and had bought an air freshener (which only made it smell like the dead skunk had been killed in a strawberry patch).

            Now you may wonder why I tell this story in the middle of a tale about anger and hurt.  Well, later that day I could still smell the “aroma” in my car.  I had been listening a few days previous to Pres. Faust’s talk from April 2007 conference entitled “The Healing Power of Forgiveness.”  In it he said, “We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us. The Lord requires us "to forgive all men" for our own good because "hatred retards spiritual growth." Only as we rid ourselves of hatred and bitterness can the Lord put comfort into our hearts…”  Those words had stayed in my head and I guess they finally hit the part of my heart that they needed to.  I said a quick prayer and asked my Heavenly Father to please help me with what I was about to do.  I dialed my sister’s number and when her voice mail picked up I said I was sorry about the words I had said, I told her I hoped she could forgive me, and I told her that I loved her.  A feeling of peace flooded over me.  A few minutes later my phone told me I had a voice mail which said, “Brian, I think we need to talk.”

            I’d like to say that the conversation that followed was all warm and fuzzy, but it wasn’t.  Feelings were still raw, but I kept telling myself that I hadn’t called to make things worse.  At one point after many tears I said to my sister, “You have to just let go of these bitter feelings.”  I told her how peaceful and free I had felt when I finally had.  I told her that I wasn’t trying to preach to her to which she said, “Good. My other brothers have done enough of that.”  To which I replied that that was an occupational hazard for them. (Both are seminary teachers).  This got a small chuckle out of her.

            From there the conversation got much better.  Feelings were discussed and sincere apologies were made.  At one point, I told her about the skunk from that morning and this brought waves of laughter.  I told her I was glad I could make her laugh even if it was at my expense.  She said, “Brian, I never thought I’d laugh with you again.”  I think that was the highlight of the conversation for me.  I was thankful we had gone from “not speaking” to laughing together in the space of 30 minutes.  As the conversation ended I said, “I love you Jo.”  To which she cried, “I love you too Brian.”  We had seen the Healer and the plague had abated.

            I got out of the car and went in to see the customer I’d gone to see.  When I came back out and got in my car, the smell from that morning still permeated the air, but now the smell brought to mind peace, and the sound of my sister laughing.

ThiNGs i EjoyED In 2011

It seems like this time of year that everyone is posting or broadcasting "best of" lists from 2011 so I thought I'd be a lemming an do the same. Now granted, some of these might be comic related, but there will also be other things as well. If you don't care what I like, (and let's face it, why would you) then by all means stop reading. Otherwise, read on. If nothing else this can be a fun reminder in times to come as to what things I was enjoying in the year 2011.

Best TV Comedy - Big Bang Theory - Seriously the funniest thing on TV right now for me. I actually laugh out loud at least once in every episode, and most times more than once. I can't relate to them on an intellectual level of course, but the geeky side of them makes me laugh every time. Another thing I enjoy about it is that Ann and I both really enjoy it so it's a show we can watch together.

Best TV Drama - (tie) Castle - Another show that Ann and I can enjoy together. Nathan Fillion is great. I think he's the "big kid" that a lot of us wish we could be. The whole cast is a great ensemble. There is an ongoing storyline in the background, but most of the time the episodes are stand alone episodes.  There is a great mix of drama and laughs in this one. (tie) Sons of Anarchy - Where Castle is a mix of drama and comedy, SoA is full on hard core drama. It revolves around an outlaw biker group called (strangely enough) Sons of Anarchy or SAMCRO. Violence, language, and very adult themes abound in this, but it is so incredibly well written. The acting is top notch and there are twists and turns that you never see coming. This show is NOT for everyone, (and to be honest I'm kind of surprised that I like it as much as I do) but if the things mentioned above don't bother you, you may want to give this a try.

Best Book (non comic) - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  OK, this one kind of wins by default because it's the only novel I read (and when I say "read" I really mean "listened to") this year. I had heard so many people talking about this series that I finally decided that I should give it a try. Set in a future where the U.S. has crumbled to 14 districts and most people can't even feed themselves, this series poses some interesting questions and situations. Action packed and interesting characters. I heard that a lot of people didn't like the ending, but I feel like it ended pretty much how it should have. I'm looking forward to the movie coming out in March of 2012.

Best Book (comic) - Aquaman. That's right, Aquaman. Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis are knocking it out of the park every issue. Even though it's only 4 issues in so far, I look forward to this title every month. They have made me care about a character that has always just kind of "been there" before. I never hated Aquaman, but he was never more than just another member of the team he might be on at the time. Johns has given him a personality that has really made me like him. I've always been a fan on Geoff Johns so I went in with pretty high expectations,  and I was actually very pleasantly surprises at how much I enjoyed it.

Best Song - Loser Like Me - I'm pretty much "GLEE'd" out as far as the show goes, but I still enjoy the music and this song was a favorite of mine for a long time this year. The words made me think of High School for a lot of reasons, plus it just had a fun as heck tune. I remember rolling the window down and the radio up a number of times in the summer while this song was playing.

Best CD - Darius Rucker "Charleston, SC 1966" - I was never a big Hootie and the Blowfish fan so the fact that I enjoyed this CD so much really came as a surprise.  He has made a great trasition to country music. There is a great group of songs that just make me feel good to listen to.  I think my favorite songs from it are "Southern State Of Mind", "In A Big Way," and "I Got Nothin'." It actually came out in 2010, but I got in 2011 so it made the list. Another reason I like this so much is the fact that my son, Tanner listened to "Come Back Song" ONCE and then sang along with it the very next time he heard it. It always amazes me with how his memory works. Good music folks, good music.

Best Podcast - Legion of Substitute Podcasters - With all the time I spend in my car, I have a TON of time to listen to podcast after podcast. I have a great list of podcasts to listen and I really enjoy all of them. CGS, GeeksOn, and Stuff You Should Know for example, but the guys on LSP have a way of making you feel like you're just sitting with a bunch of friends shooting the bull. I'm sure the fact that I was a guest on the show 3 times this year is also a factor, but Paul, Darren, Matt, and Scott entertain me each and every week. I look forward to them more than any other podcast out there and actually plan my listening to them for driving stretches where there will be the least ammount of stops and disturbances. LLTS!

Best Movie - Captain America: The First Avenger - My wife would disagree, but I liked this for a number of reasons. It was a great WWII show, it was a great action movie, it was  a great character movie, and it was a great comic book movie. I really enjoyed the interaction with Steve Rogers and Dr. Erskine. They did a great job of showing that it was the MAN that made the hero, not the hero that made the man. Even the Red Skull was "believeable" and done really well. A close second would be X-Men: First Class.

Funniest 70 Minutes - John Pinette: I'm Starvin' - I put this on one night in a hotel and by the end of the routine my sides ached, I was out of breath and tears were running down my face. There were many times during the routine that I COULD NOT breath because I was laughing so hard. I would also hold the pillow up to my face because I knew I HAD to be disturbing the people in the next room because I was laughing sooo hard. I have actually watched it a couple more times since then and though I dont laugh quite so hard, it is still laugh out loud funny.

Best sales trip - August - I had to put this one in here because that was the trip where my son, Parker, went with me. Just the two of us for two weeks. There were times when I knew he wasn't having fun and times that I wasn't either, but for the most part it was absolutely fantastic. We would swim almost every night in the hotels and we went to a water park in Tacoma, WA on the weekend. We talked about all kinds of different things and it took me back to the times when he used to travel with me all the time. I can't believe he's 11 now. Anyway, we also stopped at a "Man v Food" diner. I can't wait for him to go with me next year.

Well, there you have it. If you're still reading then...well, I don't know what that says about you. I'm sure there are other things I could add, but that's it for now. Overall 2011 was ok, but I'm really hoping for more from 2012.