SeeiNG IS alMosT Still nOT BeliEvinG

     Many years ago, while on my mission, I started a project that has blossomed into something that has lasted more than 20 years and now spans 2 generations.  It started with a trivia question in a mission hand book. The question was "Who were the original 12 apostles of this generation?" I started doing a little research in whatever books I could find. (Remember, this is 20 someodd years ago so no internet) I finally was able to get the names of all 12 men and then, as is often the case for me, I took it to the extreme.  I began creating general authoity charts for the First Presidency and Quorum of the 12 Apostles. I began with two men on the 1830 chart and then added the original 12 apostles for the 1835 chart. I searched for pictures in anything I could find. (in later years I not only DID use the internet, but also took trips down to the church archives in SLC.) Whenever the was some kind of change to EITHER quorum I would make a new chart. I began adding cross referenced information below the pictures and looking for different pictures so you could actually see the men age as time went on. You know, just what any normal person would do, right??
   Anyway, as time's gone on, I've actually put together a pretty good little binder full of charts and information. It's been carried to church and my kids, especially the boys, have really enjoyed looking through it. Lately however, Tanner (just turned 8) has REALLY gotten into looking at it and apparently not only looking, but studying it as well. The other night Ann was telling me that whenever the kids play "guess what I'm thinking" in the car, that Tanner always seems to be thinking of some little known apostle form times past. I wanted to see just how much he knew so I asked him a question that I knew the answer to off the top of my head.
   "Tanner, what apostle was ordained in 1900?"
   He looked over at me and with only the shortest pause said, "Reed Smoot."
   I was shocked that he knew that, but decided to try him again and said, "What about 1944?"
   Again the slight pause and then, "Mark E. Peterson."
   Oh, it was GAME ON now! I began throwing dates at him and every time there was a slight pause followed by the correct answer. Even Ann and Parker got in on the game. Parker tried to throw him a couple of times by asking dates where there was no change and therefore no chart.  Those times there was the customary pause and then Tanner would say that nothing happened. By this point, Parker had gone and retrieved the binder and was checking the facts with Tanner's answers.
   At one point Ann asked, "1980?"
   Pause. "No one, but in 1981 it was Neal A. Maxwell. He was ordained when Gordon B. Hinckley was set apart as another councelor in the First Presidencey."
   I tried doing thigs differently by asking him different types of questions like, "When was Amasa M. Lyman excommunicated?" or "When did Marvin J. Ashton die?" He never got it wrong. The only time he got a question "wrong" was when he mistakenly gave the answer for 1954 instead of 1854, but once we corrected him on the right centruy he nailed that one as well. This went on for a good 15 plus minutes. At one point I got my phone and began filming him without him knowing. (If he'd have known I was filming, he would have stopped) I got just ove 5 minutes of him doing this and I'm posting it below so you can see and still almost not believe it. I be willing to bet that I could stack him up against the entire rest of the ward and he would skunk them.   With his autism there are times when Tanner's a handful, but that night he proved that in some ways he's smarter than us all.

THe smEll of heALINg, PeACe aNd LAUghtEr

            “You’re wrong and you owe me an apology!”

            “You’re just hateful and I never want to speak to you ever again!”

            These were words that my sister and I spoke to each other a while ago.  A misunderstanding coupled with an angry response had escalated to very bitter feelings on both sides.  Phone calls were no longer answered, names were blocked from email lists, and pictures were taken off the walls.  Even when the truth about what had started the problem was brought to light the problem and feelings persisted.  Whenever I thought about the incident my anger boiled up in me again.  My sister told me that the negative feelings plagued her every waking hour.  I guess now I understand even more why people use that phrase.  The plagues of old would eat away and consume its victims much in the same way that the anger and bitterness was eating away at and consuming my sister and myself.  If not brought into check the plagues would eventually destroy the bodies of its victims and this spiritual plague was doing that to our spirits.  Even when the olive branch was extended, it was not accepted and in fact, was rebuffed.  I knew I was in the right!  She knew she was!  Neither looked ready to budge and the plague was running unchecked.

            A little while later, I was driving to work one morning when the car in front of me hit a skunk.  I saw the mist of stink rise into the air just as my car drove through it.  I couldn’t breath.  Now, I grew up in a small town and I had smelled skunk before, but this was different!  The smell was so intense that it stung my eyes and burned my nose.  The entire car now reeked of the smell of the dead animal.  I could only hope that I didn’t smell as bad.  I spent the rest of the day driving around the city with my windows down and had bought an air freshener (which only made it smell like the dead skunk had been killed in a strawberry patch).

            Now you may wonder why I tell this story in the middle of a tale about anger and hurt.  Well, later that day I could still smell the “aroma” in my car.  I had been listening a few days previous to Pres. Faust’s talk from April 2007 conference entitled “The Healing Power of Forgiveness.”  In it he said, “We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us. The Lord requires us "to forgive all men" for our own good because "hatred retards spiritual growth." Only as we rid ourselves of hatred and bitterness can the Lord put comfort into our hearts…”  Those words had stayed in my head and I guess they finally hit the part of my heart that they needed to.  I said a quick prayer and asked my Heavenly Father to please help me with what I was about to do.  I dialed my sister’s number and when her voice mail picked up I said I was sorry about the words I had said, I told her I hoped she could forgive me, and I told her that I loved her.  A feeling of peace flooded over me.  A few minutes later my phone told me I had a voice mail which said, “Brian, I think we need to talk.”

            I’d like to say that the conversation that followed was all warm and fuzzy, but it wasn’t.  Feelings were still raw, but I kept telling myself that I hadn’t called to make things worse.  At one point after many tears I said to my sister, “You have to just let go of these bitter feelings.”  I told her how peaceful and free I had felt when I finally had.  I told her that I wasn’t trying to preach to her to which she said, “Good. My other brothers have done enough of that.”  To which I replied that that was an occupational hazard for them. (Both are seminary teachers).  This got a small chuckle out of her.

            From there the conversation got much better.  Feelings were discussed and sincere apologies were made.  At one point, I told her about the skunk from that morning and this brought waves of laughter.  I told her I was glad I could make her laugh even if it was at my expense.  She said, “Brian, I never thought I’d laugh with you again.”  I think that was the highlight of the conversation for me.  I was thankful we had gone from “not speaking” to laughing together in the space of 30 minutes.  As the conversation ended I said, “I love you Jo.”  To which she cried, “I love you too Brian.”  We had seen the Healer and the plague had abated.

            I got out of the car and went in to see the customer I’d gone to see.  When I came back out and got in my car, the smell from that morning still permeated the air, but now the smell brought to mind peace, and the sound of my sister laughing.

ThiNGs i EjoyED In 2011

It seems like this time of year that everyone is posting or broadcasting "best of" lists from 2011 so I thought I'd be a lemming an do the same. Now granted, some of these might be comic related, but there will also be other things as well. If you don't care what I like, (and let's face it, why would you) then by all means stop reading. Otherwise, read on. If nothing else this can be a fun reminder in times to come as to what things I was enjoying in the year 2011.

Best TV Comedy - Big Bang Theory - Seriously the funniest thing on TV right now for me. I actually laugh out loud at least once in every episode, and most times more than once. I can't relate to them on an intellectual level of course, but the geeky side of them makes me laugh every time. Another thing I enjoy about it is that Ann and I both really enjoy it so it's a show we can watch together.

Best TV Drama - (tie) Castle - Another show that Ann and I can enjoy together. Nathan Fillion is great. I think he's the "big kid" that a lot of us wish we could be. The whole cast is a great ensemble. There is an ongoing storyline in the background, but most of the time the episodes are stand alone episodes.  There is a great mix of drama and laughs in this one. (tie) Sons of Anarchy - Where Castle is a mix of drama and comedy, SoA is full on hard core drama. It revolves around an outlaw biker group called (strangely enough) Sons of Anarchy or SAMCRO. Violence, language, and very adult themes abound in this, but it is so incredibly well written. The acting is top notch and there are twists and turns that you never see coming. This show is NOT for everyone, (and to be honest I'm kind of surprised that I like it as much as I do) but if the things mentioned above don't bother you, you may want to give this a try.

Best Book (non comic) - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  OK, this one kind of wins by default because it's the only novel I read (and when I say "read" I really mean "listened to") this year. I had heard so many people talking about this series that I finally decided that I should give it a try. Set in a future where the U.S. has crumbled to 14 districts and most people can't even feed themselves, this series poses some interesting questions and situations. Action packed and interesting characters. I heard that a lot of people didn't like the ending, but I feel like it ended pretty much how it should have. I'm looking forward to the movie coming out in March of 2012.

Best Book (comic) - Aquaman. That's right, Aquaman. Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis are knocking it out of the park every issue. Even though it's only 4 issues in so far, I look forward to this title every month. They have made me care about a character that has always just kind of "been there" before. I never hated Aquaman, but he was never more than just another member of the team he might be on at the time. Johns has given him a personality that has really made me like him. I've always been a fan on Geoff Johns so I went in with pretty high expectations,  and I was actually very pleasantly surprises at how much I enjoyed it.

Best Song - Loser Like Me - I'm pretty much "GLEE'd" out as far as the show goes, but I still enjoy the music and this song was a favorite of mine for a long time this year. The words made me think of High School for a lot of reasons, plus it just had a fun as heck tune. I remember rolling the window down and the radio up a number of times in the summer while this song was playing.

Best CD - Darius Rucker "Charleston, SC 1966" - I was never a big Hootie and the Blowfish fan so the fact that I enjoyed this CD so much really came as a surprise.  He has made a great trasition to country music. There is a great group of songs that just make me feel good to listen to.  I think my favorite songs from it are "Southern State Of Mind", "In A Big Way," and "I Got Nothin'." It actually came out in 2010, but I got in 2011 so it made the list. Another reason I like this so much is the fact that my son, Tanner listened to "Come Back Song" ONCE and then sang along with it the very next time he heard it. It always amazes me with how his memory works. Good music folks, good music.

Best Podcast - Legion of Substitute Podcasters - With all the time I spend in my car, I have a TON of time to listen to podcast after podcast. I have a great list of podcasts to listen and I really enjoy all of them. CGS, GeeksOn, and Stuff You Should Know for example, but the guys on LSP have a way of making you feel like you're just sitting with a bunch of friends shooting the bull. I'm sure the fact that I was a guest on the show 3 times this year is also a factor, but Paul, Darren, Matt, and Scott entertain me each and every week. I look forward to them more than any other podcast out there and actually plan my listening to them for driving stretches where there will be the least ammount of stops and disturbances. LLTS!

Best Movie - Captain America: The First Avenger - My wife would disagree, but I liked this for a number of reasons. It was a great WWII show, it was a great action movie, it was  a great character movie, and it was a great comic book movie. I really enjoyed the interaction with Steve Rogers and Dr. Erskine. They did a great job of showing that it was the MAN that made the hero, not the hero that made the man. Even the Red Skull was "believeable" and done really well. A close second would be X-Men: First Class.

Funniest 70 Minutes - John Pinette: I'm Starvin' - I put this on one night in a hotel and by the end of the routine my sides ached, I was out of breath and tears were running down my face. There were many times during the routine that I COULD NOT breath because I was laughing so hard. I would also hold the pillow up to my face because I knew I HAD to be disturbing the people in the next room because I was laughing sooo hard. I have actually watched it a couple more times since then and though I dont laugh quite so hard, it is still laugh out loud funny.

Best sales trip - August - I had to put this one in here because that was the trip where my son, Parker, went with me. Just the two of us for two weeks. There were times when I knew he wasn't having fun and times that I wasn't either, but for the most part it was absolutely fantastic. We would swim almost every night in the hotels and we went to a water park in Tacoma, WA on the weekend. We talked about all kinds of different things and it took me back to the times when he used to travel with me all the time. I can't believe he's 11 now. Anyway, we also stopped at a "Man v Food" diner. I can't wait for him to go with me next year.

Well, there you have it. If you're still reading then...well, I don't know what that says about you. I'm sure there are other things I could add, but that's it for now. Overall 2011 was ok, but I'm really hoping for more from 2012.

2 hOUrs aS SANtA

     This year I got to do something for the Christmas season that I've never done before. I got to play Santa at my family's Pre-school. The guy they regularly get had a scheduling problem, so I was asked if I could fill in. I said sure. When the day arrived I arrived and went into my Grandparents' old house to change. Apparently the person that they had borrowed the Santa costume from was a BIT shorter than me because the pants only came to about 3-4 inches below my knees. Now I realize that they were probably meant to be short so you could tuck them into the boots, but with the boots on, I would still be showing far to much leg for Santa. Luckily my Grandma had an old Santa suit with longer pants. Then came the second size issue. The boots were a full size too small. It took a huge effort to finally pull them on my feet, but even that task was finally completed and then it was just the finishing touches. At one point, my wife came in and I asked her if I needed a pillow to which she quickly said NO. (not quite sure how to respond to that) Finally the time came to go out and meet the children. I spent the next two hours sitting and visiting with the kids. It really was a fun experience. The kids would come in groups of about 4 and I would have about a minute with each. 
     There were two kids that stand out. The first was a little girl. (all the kids were 4 years old, by the way) This little girl came up and sat on my lap and I talked to her the way Santa alway talks to children. When I finally asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she kind pulled away and looked at me funny. She then said, "I've already told you like three other times." It was really hard not to bust right out laughing. I thought quickly and told her that I talk to soo many children this time of year that that is why I always check lists twice. She seemed to accept that. Of all the responces I thought I may get, THAT was NOT one of them.
     The second was a very cool experience. This time it was a little boy. Before I go into that I need to set up something. Sitting next to me were three bins(bags) with little toys labeled "boy", "girl," or "nutral." As each child was through, a helper would give a present to the child and then the child would go to a table and open the gift. This particular group came when my helper was taking a potty break. The boy came up and we exchanged pleasentries for a bit and then I asked the magic question. He told me that he really wanted a toy bow and arrow set. I told him that a toy bow and arrow is a big responsibility and that if he got one he was never to shoot it at anyone. He nodded his head and said, "Oh, I know!" I wished him Merry Christmas and reached in the bin labeled for boys and gave him his little gift. He wa the last in the group so I was able to watch him open the gift. It turned out to be a small toy bow and arrow set. He just looked at it for a second then back at me. I gave him an exagerated wink and he beamed! I think this particular boy may believe in Santa well into his thirties. It was fun to see the magic for him. All in all, it was a fun way to spend a couple of hours. I tried to be more than a standard "what do you want for Christmas" Santa, but talk about what they had asked for, or if they asked for something I knew a little bit about I could expand on it with them. My geekiness really helpped out there. When I finished I went back to the room where they had all gathered and wished them all a Merry Christmas one last time.

Then I went back in the old house and had to get those small boots actually off my feet. haha

hEaLiNg HaNDS

     Something I love doing more than pretty much anything is singing. I love music! It’s magical. Music has powers that can’t be found anywhere else. Music can bring you to the verge of tears, or the edge of rapture. I’m one of those people you see/hear as you drive around that is singing at the top of their lungs. Windows up or down. Songs from male singers or female. I love music! I’m sure that there will be more entries regarding music, but in reality, this one has almost nothing to do with music, and yet, it does. Confused?

     Back in 1998 I had started a new position at work. I had taken what would become the first of my sales routes. This one covered Arizona, New Mexico, and western Texas, as well as south eastern Utah. I had been doing it for a few months. I liked it well enough. I was gone for 10-11 days at a time. This was before I was married and I really loved being out driving around. (I guess some things just never change) Anyway, I started having odd pains in my chest and abdomen. At first I chalked it up to my new lifestyle of sitting for long periods of time and greasy foods, but as time went on it got worse and worse.  Eventually I went to the doctor to find out what was going on. By now Ann and I were engaged. The doctors couldn’t seem to figure out what was going on. At first the thought it was probably my gal bladder, though that was quickly ruled out. Then strange growths we seen on my lungs.  I was terrified that it might be cancer, but after a couple of weeks the growths had doubled in size. The doctor told me that that was actually good news. WHAT? He said that it was growing far to fast to be cancer. That was good news. So what is it? Well, that part they still didn’t know. Test after test were run and everything came back negative. Meanwhile I was feeling worse and worse. I’d gone in for a biopsy on one lung and still nothing. Eventually it was determined that the doctors were going to have to go in and actually cut a piece or two of whatever it was off my lungs and have a better look. The day came and I went under the knife. They had to deflate my left lung to do what they needed. When the surgery was completed I was in the ICU for a day or two. I remember being told that my friend Justin had called or come to visit, but because I was in the ICU I didn’t get to see or talk to him. I was eventually moved to a regular room where I spent a little over a week. Ann and my family would come to visit. Crazy thing was that the doctors still didn’t know what the heck was growing in there. I actually started planning my funeral at one point. Morbid I know, but what else was I going to do all day in the hospital bed?

     I was finally release to go home, but my lung capacity was still not good so I was hooked up to oxygen. (My friends told me later that they thought they would be attending my funeral as well.) Then all of a sudden the things started shrinking in size! What the heck?! The main doctor told me that he was pretty sure it was Coccidioidomycosis, though tests were still coming up negative. (by the way, they never did figure out what it was. How crazy is that?) I was on oxygen for a little over a month. I had exercises to strengthen my lungs and I did them. I couldn’t sing. I couldn’t hold a note because I didn’t have the lung capacity. I was getting better though. Then one day I was driving up the street and I had a CD playing (of course) and a song began playing. This song was already a favorite of mine, but it was about to jump even higher on the list. I tentatively started singing and I wasn’t running out of breath. I was doing it. I was singing again! I raised my voice even louder as the song progressed. When the song finished, I had sung every word. I actually had to pull over I was so excited. It was the moment where I knew I was going to be fine. I could sing. My lungs were strong. To this day, “Healing Hands” by Elton John will cheer me up better than almost any song. See, totally not about music, and yet totally about music.

i kNow TherE's a JOKe in thErE SomewheRE

     I have decided that going on the road in November is something I may try to avoid as much as possible in the future.

     I wrote a little while ago about what happened to me last year right before Thanksgiving, well though not as bad in most ways, I had another crappy November business trip.

     This year I was doing my new truck stop route for work which I started back in January. It’s a big route that takes me across northern Nevada, down to central California, up through Oregon to Tacoma, Wa. then over to Spokane, Wa., down to Boise, Idado and then across I-84 to home. It takes me two weeks to complete. I love being out, but I really hate being away. (If you think those are the same things, you’re sorely mistaken.) 

     I had a new location to set up this trip and wanted to make sure I had plenty of time, so I’d done a couple of late nights and early mornings. I was running about 1 stop ahead of schedule. That may not seem like much, but moving one location up early in the trip can actually shave off a whole day by the end of the trip.  I was feeling very good and enjoying my favorite things to listen to while driving. Podcasts. (See my last post) I was just entering Oregon at about mile marker 6 when I felt a jolt and the car just stopped working. Some things worked, some didn’t. Luckily my brakes were among the working because I was coming down a pretty big hill. Really I had just come over a small mountain pass so the roads were not only steep, but curvey as well. The POWER part of my breaks was gone, but I was still able to stop without incident. (phew) I got out of the car and began to look it over. Everything seemed in place to my EXTREMELY untrained eye. I got back in and tried to start it up again, but all I got was a sound I had never heard before and it wouldn’t even turn over. To make matters worse, it was starting to snow. (wonderful)  I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to call a tow truck just yet. I guess I was hoping that some Good Samaritan would stop and be able to say, “Oh just do this.” and get my car going again. I have to say that I got pretty peeved when not one, but TWO police drove right by me without even slowing down. (Must have been in a hurry to set up a speed trap or something.) I really didn’t even know which town I was closest to so I could start looking for a tow truck. Finally a Hwy Patrol stopped, but all she could do was tell me that Ashland, OR was 6 miles away. I found a towing company with my phone (ahh technology) and finally got towed into town. Once there the mechanic did some checking and told me that he was almost positive what had happened. Apparently my timing belt had slipped (or whatever it is that they do which is bad) and that most likely caused even more damage. He said that to just do what he needed to do to make sure would cost $2000 just in labor cost and then parts would be even more. I guess that at this point I should mention that we had just paid off this car ONE WEEK before and I’d put new back tires on it just 5 days earlier. It turns out that the car isn’t even worth $2000, although it was worth far more to me. You see, this was the very first car in my life that I had paid off completely.  All the other ones had been traded in (or totaled last November) before being paid off. After weighing all the options (of which there really weren’t a lot) I started making calls to try and sell my newly paid off car. I found a company who offered me a good price so, just like that, I had a buyer.

   Of course now I still had the problem of being in the middle of my route with no car. I looked into renting one, but a one way rental would have cost more than I just got for the car. My company then said they would use air points to fly me home and then I could get a car and drive back. (That was very nice of them.) So Saturday morning (Nov 5) I flew home and spent the rest of the day with my family which was a nice break. I then borrowed my mother-in-law’s car (she doesn’t drive so it was readily available) and on Sunday I drove the 18 hours back to where I was. Monday morning we finalized the deal on my old car and I was off. Leaving the old car behind was pretty emotional because that car is more my office than my space at our home office. I’ve driven that car to and through 11 western states and it’s always been good to me. I know its quirks and such. It was almost like a friend. In less than a year, BOTH of our cars were gone while I was using them on road trips.

   Anyway, now instead of being ahead of the game I was 2 days behind schedule. No way to really make it up, but there’s a part of me that says, “We can do this. Drive and work fast and we’ll make up the time.” (totally NOT possible by the way)  Well, I got to my first store and took care of things there and headed out. Things could only get better now, right?

I wasn’t 30 miles away when I got the flat.

Friends I've Never Met

     I think the internet is a wonderful thing. It’s made the world a much smaller place. It’s made it possible to make friends you never would have otherwise.  Let me give you a couple of examples. Once, while in the hotel in one of my many visits to Las Vegas, I was surfing for geeky related things and I found something called micro heroes.  These were small gif files of superheroes with heads too large for their bodies.  I was enthralled. These things seemed easy enough for me to make and there were entire web sights dedicated to these little guys. I’m a very visual person. I love looking and things and designing things and Micro Heroes gave me an outlet for both. I started making my own and “collecting” (a real habit of mine) ones that others had made.  It was then that I discovered that there was a group of people, a club if you will, who shared their creations with each other. I signed up for my first internet “group.” I would receive emails from Robert, Kat, Matthew, and a whole slew of others who were just as geeky as me and who just wanted to show off their latest Micro. We talked to each other through these emails and told each other how cool their latest work was. It was nice to have “friends” who were interested in similar things. On one trip to Phoenix I actually got together with Robert for lunch. I remember a coworker marveling that I would just go to lunch with a complete stranger. I told him that it wasn’t really a complete stranger. After all, we’ve shared Micro Heroes and we both liked comics. He still had trouble grasping.

     Anyway, that was my first foray into an online community of any kind, but it wouldn’t be my last. Set the time machine forward a few years and my wife bought me an MP3 player for Father’s day or our Anniversary (I forget which it was) and within a few weeks I had discovered these things called podcasts. I could find programs on the internet that talked about comic books??? That was crazy! I remember the first one I downloaded was a podcast called Raging Bullets. All DC comics! I was hooked. The hosts would talk about DC Comics, but the also talked about being part of the Comic Geek Speak (CGS) forums.  I had never joined any kind of online forums before and wasn’t sure what to expect. I started listening to CGS as well and they often spoke about their forum members like they were friends. I took the plunge and joined. I was very much a “lurker” for the first little bit.  The first thing I noticed was that a lot of the people there all had odd names. There were people like Peter, Bryan, Paul,and Shane, but there was also Dr Norge, Rainbow Cloak, and Filthy McMonkey and many, many others. I’ve done my share of chatting via AOL and Messenger so I was familiar with screen names. I picked the one I always use and finally started interacting. I started becoming familiar with the personalities behind the names. Little by little and bit by bit, these strangers became acquaintances and then friends. We discussed not only comics, but politics, family triumphs and tragedies, or the latest movie or TV show. We even have a yearly “Secret Santa” which is just a fantasticly fun thing every Christmas season.  We feel so much like friends and family that I felt and feel like I would be totally at home meeting them in real life. I actually would like nothing better than to meet Sean, Darren, or Scott. (Norge, Cloak, and McMonkey)  These are people from all over the globe and from many different walks of life. People I know I never would have met otherwise. And the internet brought us together.  One in particular has become one of my very best friends in the world. And we have never met.